HOSPICE ARTICLE

The Wisdom of Traditions

Each one of us throughout our lives has experienced different traditions that we can turn to for strength and wisdom. As a Hospice Chaplain, I have had the privilege of helping patients and their families turn to these traditions when they are helpful.

Sometimes it is praying together the Lord’s Prayer in the tradition that they are most comfortable with. Lutheran’s often pray “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us…” and end the prayer “and the glory forever and ever.” Presbyterians pray “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors…, and end with “and the glory forever.” Methodists have a combination of the two prayers: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and end “and the glory forever.” When we hook into little differences, we are also connecting with traditions that people have been a part of throughout their lives. Using images of sacred places and religious paintings is also a way that people connect with their traditions in order to find comfort and wisdom.

In addition to finding out about their spiritual background, as I visit with patients and their families, I also find it helpful to know about their ethnic background. One patient, shortly before her death, translated into English, Psalm 23, which I had given her in Norwegian. She translated the last verse: “Only goodness and mercy shall come after me all my life’s days and I shall live in God’s house throughout a long life”. This was read at her funeral by her pastor, who commented on her long life, and how she continued to learn even in her last days. I have translations of Psalm 23 in the many languages that are found in our community, in hopes that others will be able to connect with traditions from their pasts.

Some have memorized Hymns or scripture such as the King James Version of Psalm 23. Even those who have difficulty communicating sometimes are able to the words: “Surely Goodness and Mercy shall follow me all the days of my life”, as a chaplain or family member reads to them these familiar words. I read to one patient Psalm 23 from a new version of the bible, “The Message”, written by Eugene Peterson: “Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life. I'm back home in the house of God for the rest of my life.” When I had finished she said that she wanted this read at her funeral. I assumed that she wanted the traditional Psalm 23 read, but she corrected me and said that she wanted this new version read. She said that this version reminded her of her life and how she was brought up. Sometimes we need traditions to remain exactly the same, while other times new or slightly changed traditions speak to our hearts and our experiences.

At another funeral, the patient’s son was Buddhist, and appreciated a Japanese version of Psalm 23: “Surely harmony shall be the fruit of my hours, and I shall walk in the pace of the Lord and dwell in His house forever.” Many times, prayers, hymns and scriptures read at the funeral of one family member, becomes a tradition that imparts wisdom and comfort to future generations and sometimes is used over and over again at funerals. A good example of this is the Ojibwa Prayer that ends: “Make me ever ready to come before you with clean hands and a straight eye, so as life fades away as a fading sunset; my spirit can come to you with no shame.” This is a Native American prayer that has become a part of many funerals and its wisdom is past on from generation to generation. Another prayer from the Jewish tradition, “Gates of Prayer”, has been adopted by many Christians for the funerals of their family members, and helps family and friends to remember occasions and traditions that they participated in with their loved ones, and helps to perpetuate these traditions and memories into the future. This prayer begins “At the rising of the sun and its going down, you will remember him” and ends “As long as you live, he too will live; for he is now a part of you and you will remember him.”

All of us can help others access the wisdom of their own traditions or provide new or slightly altered tradition. For further information on the “Wisdom of Traditions”, please go to http://wisdomoftraditions.blogspot.com/, and if you have traditions that have been helpful please e-mail me at Tholtey@hrrv.org.

Tom Holtey, Home and Hospital team Chaplain in Fargo.